London

Okay… So what should have taken less then 20 min, turned into a late night stroll from er the bars tonight (lei cester square area/ picadilly circus), I finally made it to the flat in just over an hour. Someone needs gps (sat nav) for u Brits. Fun conversions I’ve learned: elevator (lift), exit (way out), entrance (way in), road closed ahead (road ahead closed), To-go/doggy bag/box (Take away), Coat check (Cloak room), vest (waist coat), just a second (it won’t be a minute), six thirty (half of six) 24hr clocks, kilometers, pounds, pence, oh and the larger insects that look like Texas red fire ants, all over the sidewalks, are like elongated beetle looking things, gross.

Cars- Saudi Arabians vacation here big time because their scortching desert land is like a bag of fresh popcorn straight from the micro… They have their cars flown over or they just buy new ones once they are here, just for the summer. The Rolls Royce Phantom is the Honda here ($450k), maserattis ($100k), bentleys ($250k), Mercedes ($$$) are the Toyotas. It’s the sickest thing I’ve ever seen. This place is wildly expensive the pound is £1 to $1.52.

It’s also the most beautiful, cleanest, heaviest on the police force, I have ever experienced. I could very easily live here… All the men here are so well mannered, polished, and soft spoken, they even make ME look straight … I know!!

Dig how people kinda half smile and nod when I talk… Then say… “America right?” I look back at them as if they have just pulled off the covers and have revealed my naked body. It’s fantastic, isn’t it?… Hmph. Oh yeah, and I got a phone today… Super cheap, as long as u don’t use it for anything other than texting w/in Europe.

London… Funny how the city seems like it gets a colossal douche every night… this place is spotless… the cleaning crew that can be seen at any moment as permanent fixtures throughout the streets go by two different names, the sidewalk sweeper and the rubbish collector – or something to that effect. Nonetheless I feel happy walking on white pristine sidewalks, although I still don’t understand how a massive amount of city money is spent in other ways, less beneficial to its occupants… ie… Policemen drive 5 series BMW’s –because your police man must be stylish in London… or the public urinals for men (exposed on street corners – see pics on FB for proof) that cost an estimated 8 Million Quid ($12,112,000)… so why is it that the subway system doesn’t have climate control… London rains and gets muggy and warm… no?. Every day I spent there was sunny and delightful. Subways were sweaty, sticky, and salty

London people… Once you get used to the accent (I never did) you can enjoy conversation filled with new words and expressions… I had to keep telling the wonderful people I met… What is that? What does that mean? What do I know, I’m just a Mexican, as those friends I’m squinting my eyes to right now would say.

Service at any restaurant or bar is slower than slow… their interest in the customer does not exist… they don’t rely on tips, so why should they have a fire lit under their ass? Argh… patience works here big time. Found that bars are regulated to NOT “free poor” their booze… so drinking before is essential, otherwise you’ll be full well before you get a buzz… drink before… or buy weak doubles… around $9 for a single. Also, after the meal the handheld credit card swiping machine is brought to the table. I’ve never seen that before.

I went to a club where there were metal detectors, I walked through and instantly the security guard patted me down and dug his finger into my small fifth pocket… Lucky or unlucky for me rather…. that is the exact location that I stored a piece of gum and mints. Yeah…. I didn’t understand what he was doing until I saw him pull out what I guess could be interpreted as drugs… I said right away… “They’re mints.”

He started laughing… I smiled back in a confused way… I repeated, “They’re mints and gum.”

“Its mints?” he said.

“Yes” I replied.

Laughing, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, they are three of them.”

“Thanks for the honesty… go ahead,” all of them were thrown away.

Turns out “mints” means something completely different in the UK… described later to me as a situation that is overly gay (as in homosexual). Imagine a man walking extra feminine, or over exaggerating hand gestures, he’s so mints.

So stop being mints and read on and come away with me 4 hours from London, away to the city of Athens, Greece.